Funk

Being a mom is hard.
I'm really struggling lately and I don't really know why.
The kids are actually great, I'm just kind of sick of it all.

I don't know what I want. Or what I would change.

I feel like I'm in a swamp. A swamp made of glue, or marshmallow after you knead it in your fingers, or something otherwise really sticky that I can push through if I really try, but I'm so tired that I just can't summon the effort to do it.

I want to be lazy and lie on the couch watching Hoarders or 750 Pound Virgin or Pregnant and Paralyzed or pretty much anything garbage on A&E that might make me feel self-righteous.
And then, if suddenly I feel like going to the grocery store or the mall or what-freaking-ever, I want to do that.
I want to throw on my goddamn coat and just go.

I don't want to wrestle with a two year old who doesn't want to put on her mittens of which I can only find ONE anyway.
I don't want to sit around and wait for a baby to wake up before zipping out the door.
I don't want to, upon arriving at my destination, have to strategize which child to get out of the vehicle first so as to have enough hands to avoid placing the non-walker in a puddle in a parking lot.

I want to do nothing.
And, yet, nothing is exactly the opposite of what I have to do every second of everyday.
I know I'm not unique or special, and that this is how moms feel sometimes.
I just need to feel publicly sorry for myself and get on with it.

I owe you an update about the craft show.
Best ever.

I'll try to pull myself out of this funk and upload some pictures.
xo Em